Playing golf has been a sanctuary to me. Away from kids. Leaving the phone in the car (8 text messages and 4 emails awaited me in 1 hour). Challenging my body and clearing my mind. Connecting with my father and his loss in the sport he loved (I am not going to be gutting and scaling fish. One his other many favorite past times lol).
But Thursday everything in my game was off. After analyzing myself I realized it’s because my mind is upset by the world today. I can not stop thinking about the state of our world…how we are still racially divided even though we are not…I can not stop praying for my family…I CAN NOT STOP PRAYING FOR MY SON AND what his world will look like! I am sure my father and mother worried the same and I know they both worked tirelessly to break down racism. But racism exists and the world is not color blind.
I have heard my friends tell me “I don’t see color” but how can you not? I’ve said I worry for my son and friends say don’t “it will get better” “color doesn’t matter like it used to.” Really? How are you so sure? I am positive color matters and I pray it will get better.
My mind cleared in last 15m of my game. I don’t know why but it’s grieving again and in a format like Facebook renewedserenityllc I’m sharing my personal thoughts and feelings, not just pictures of the kids, because we all have to stand for something. If I hide in silence so I don’t lose potential clients or referrals or piss off friends I am not being the woman my father and mother raised. A woman of conviction who stands for something, who knows if we communicate and open our minds to the experience of others things CAN and WILL change. Please lets talk but most importantly lets also listen to each other