After you get married, there is “the honeymoon” phase”.  How many of us have heard that?  

What is the honeymoon phase?  It’s that period of no no worries where nothing seems to be a problem.  Where your love for one another feels higher than the highest peak.  It’s that point when you never tire of each other.  When no one can really do wrong.  It’s a vacation from the real life of marriage.  Hence “THE HONEYMOON.” 

Hopefully, there is a honeymoon phase, but how long it lasts varies.  Oftentimes, folks come in the office shortly after being married and they are saddened (and scared) that the honeymoon phase is gone.  They believe they are doing something wrong or this means something bad about the future of their marriage. The honeymoon phase ending, or in some cases it never existed, doesn’t signal an omen.  How you come out of the phase and how you communicate around it determines the path your marriage takes.  

A marriage goes through many phases and hopefully is continually evolving.  The honeymoon phase ending is that point where you enter real life together.  Acknowledging and, hopefully, communicating about your disappointments, stress, and fears, happiness, and joys.  Think of it this way when you marry you are leaving a life behind.  The couple is leaving their families and entrusting the rest of their lives in someone else.  At first, this sounds exciting and, when guided by love, seems easy.  But at some point, often after the first real argument, the idea of relying on this one person, your partner, for life is daunting and intimidating.  I am not being pessimistic just real. I call it being equipped with knowledge. Knowing some of the pitfalls doesn’t necessarily help you avoid them, but can make getting back up easier. 

I tell all my clients to enjoy the honeymoon phase.  It may last the length of the physical honeymoon or it may last years.  Regardless of how long it lasts, communication is key to making the marriage last longer than the phase.  Your marriage should be a lifetime.  The honeymoon phase is only the starting point.

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